I’ve been to a goodly amount of women’s conferences. So much life and power at those events — and sometimes, unfortunately, a big dose of density. It goes like this:

“Successful” Female is at the podium. She’s giving a talk on how to be “successful” as a woman in business. (I put successful in quotes because it’s a very relative term.) But if you listen closely, she is really giving a lecture on how to act like a man in order to be successful in business. I could go on (and on) about the detriments of this, but here’s what I want to bring up today: Trash-talking men.

“Successful” Female is at the podium. In an effort to create affinity and affirm woman-power (note: the word Feminine is scarcely used in these kinds of presentations), she throws in a few men jokes.

You know how they are…. so competitive, so full steam ahead!, baffled by emotion, all that testosterone….

Pause: If a professional dude got on stage and said women are soooo sensitive, emotional, always talking to every body… — he’d be in deep, politically-incorrect shit.

Assertion, lest you think I’m a push-over. I whole-heartedly believe that:

• Many social crises — from the political, to economical, to wellness, not to mention the crisis of meaning that modern culture is wading in, has roots in the mistreatment of women.

• Unevolved males, or to use the catchall phrase, the patriarchy, have been fucking humanity over for centuries. Humanity — not just women, because when you oppress and abuse women, you steal life from everybody.

• Accountability, justice — and rehabilitation, for men who harm women and children is critical.

Now that we’re clear on THAT…

“Successful” Female is at the podium. (She was just talking about all the sacrifices you have to make as a woman to get promoted.) This is what I want to say to her, privately, because she really is trying her best:

• Gross generalizations are gross. If we keep pronouncing stereotypes we don’t create space for the awake men to come forth and be supported.

• All communication begins with an intention. Check? Check. There’s a difference between being observant and being mean.

• Mean is a big energy leak. Don’t go there, you have the future to focus on. And it is bright sister, it is so bright.

• Every one of us runs both masculine and feminine energy through our systems. We choose what we use.

• This may sound semantical, but it’s not “men” in general that have made the work world in particular exceedingly more difficult for women, it’s unconscious males using their masculine energy to behave badly.

• The Feminine is fierce, loving, and inclusive. Women are spectacular at issuing invitations — it’s our super power. We have the skill to bring out the best in men. We can do this with immense love and the insight that holds men accountable to their greatness.

• Transformation happens through collaboration.

We heal together.
We create together.
We rise … together.